Its None of your Piss-ness !!

No doubt women are a figure of mystery, enigma or whatever one of those ‘fancy poets’ might call them. But if we talk about simplicity... it nowhere exists. They have to complicate every possible thing they do, everything they say, think, eat and even something as simple as taking a pissy.

Yeah!! A much mystical/controversial topic of wonder is what… no I mean WHAT exactly women do for hours in rest rooms??? 

Why would I question that? Well, that’s not coming from me! But I will try to answer this much postulated question by our male counterpart.

Once… I had asked a friend to wait, till I got back from the ladies room. When I came back, he was an old man with gray beard.  Well, At least his expression testified it!! 

I admit… women and washrooms have a thing. It’s their place of hoedown throw down.

A man would probably just go to the loo… and be back in a minute or two and they actually do!

Entirely different story with women.  And literally SIX good months to come up with this observation. It needed a great deal of research -analysis.  So what if it took me twice than usual visits to the Ladies’.

Why do they take so long to come out! 

 Answer – the mirror!!!

Yes Gentlemen and Gentlemen! It’s that polished surface that reflects their reality. 

Sorry Girls! But that’s the fact. We are possessed by the mirror.

After having done the pee-poo-pee … at just about the same bit rate as any average man, they approach the sink.

Washing hands is just a subconscious act because they were looking at the mirror all the time.

Step2 - Approach Hand drier – eye contact with the mirror intact!

Step 3 – Now take a comfortable space in front of the mirror so that the ‘checking out’ process could      take place at a grander scale.

She moves it to the left

She moves it to the right

Double time  ‘nother time

If she’s looking all fine

Look at it-look at it,

Slow-motion freeze

Stop for the camera...

Paparazzi wanna see! cheeze.

Okay that was one way of putting it. Also Missy Elliot just happened to rush on my mind. But that explains it!!

Take my word, if you remove all the mirrors from the ladies’ rooms, they won’t feel like some sorority house. Neat :D

Thank God walls can only hear. But Walls of Washrooms can probably see and they see a LOT!!

 Yaar… aap toh bas woi socho. I am talking about how they diffuse their emotional bomb in there.

Even that didn’t sound right!! :P

Anyway, the thing is… they prefer to come in packs to pee. As if their metabolism was simultaneous!!

And that time is consumed in serious bitching sessions!!

For example- (with my in-head replies)

“Did u see her hairdo today? OMG she looks a total retard!” (Like your dead split ends are any better)

“Hey… that brown-eyed guy from our next office... He smiled at me!! He’s so cute and talks like a gentleman... I can totally ask him out!” (Yeah right – Nice vacation from eying your office peon)

*On Phone (shrieking) “No way!! I knew they were seeing each other... She’s such a biatch! Bataya nai mujhe”

*Enters “ Arrghh.. I hate those people who don’t flush!! (Moving to next) Great!!! No toilet paper!!”

(This was Me :P)

It can even get scary at times.

You come in and then peacefully are taking bliss piss when suddenly in the adjacent cube -

“BWhahahhahahahahhaa…. He said so!!!!”

Holy pissing cow… you are this close to shitting instead. 

Well, that was one part. There are a lot of unheard stories. They can be shrewd, lewd, romantic, dob, related to job and not to mention SOB.  Oh yeah…  History be my witness, Washrooms are and have been the emotional dumping ground for Ladies.

Day gone bad, fight with boy friend, stress at work or the most usual… Hari Sadu Boss!!

Cry a river in here ladies!! (And you thought toilet rolls are only meant for… er well..)

So.. That was it!! Logistically enough information to explain the time lag.

And hence you got to excuse HER!!

I am sure there could be a lot more reasons than these. Actually there are… *smirks

But…  Let it be a mystery a’ight! Because there’s no way you would wanna go in there!!

And get your Minds out of the Ladies Room!

Now, if you’d EXCUSE ME…  :P  :D        

Bored Da Vinci Code

They are the Bored ones! They are not sterile, yet they are least affected by any outside activity.

Only some unrealistic bizarre extraneous theme can possibly seize their minimal attention.

What do you think led them to such bore-o-form? One of the common grounds could be a stressed childhood which compelled them to spend a lot of time alone. Other could be a personality mismatch where they found themselves to be either unique/different from the common packs or it might be hesitance to mix up with what they consider to be Sappy Societal Theatrics (SST). This again leaves them with ample lone time, to kill which they taught themselves to appreciate books and movies, which made them to develop rich fantasy life.

Later on, when faced with anticipation and reality in congruence, they become bitterly disappointed.

It leaves a gaping hole between their deluxe dreams and the literal mediocre flavor of life.

So they take up is excessive reading, traveling, going to movies, art events, collecting stuff or pushing other creative/imaginative ways to calm their restless hearts. You must not get fooled, though. Beneath the adventurer's mask there is a baffled and bitter spirit.

Beware of them!
They are emotionally damaged. You can prototype them as "Handle with care" glassware. Seems all shiny and lucid, but requires unfaltering upkeep. One wrong move and splatter. You'll be in ruins. It might be extremely challenging to crack their code. This exception actually propels one to win over them for they are conceived to be the"Difficult Ones". They derive a loathsome joy to have you assume that. You can't rely on what they are telling you. Instead, you will need to observe them in their unguarded moments. You will need to pay attention to their offhand comments. What do they reveal?

If you have skillful observation, its not much of a Da vinci code. They come out to be real romantic cruisers just like they have imagined in the fantasy island of their dreams. They like variety and one has to be sure to

bring in that element continually in their monotonous lives. That's what they need without being asked. Beauty won't do the trick in this case! Nope! You'll need to figure out what excites them (Not the Obvious).

Make them talk, observe their vulnerable expressions. Generally. knowing their likes/dislikes and very important of all, Taste in Music would guide you all through the mission. You'll have to decipher what sort of

experiences they are passionate about as he is restless, he yearns for different experiences, different pleasures and will get disappointed once the relationship takes the predictable course.

If he meets a woman that he thinks offers a variety of different experiences, he will fall in love. In fact, he will grow addicted to her and, unlike others, he will not be able to discard her.

You may find a relationship with one of the Bored Men quite interesting, because if he thinks you are that special woman for him, he will release a great amount of passion and energy that he was repressing his whole life and will focus it on you. However, the requirements from you are too high and the moment the monotony 

will creep in, he will be gone.

So just one thing to do -'Handle with care' ! Go Get him!! :)

B FAB

  Some how we all are plugged to the same music.

~Born from the Boom Box~

It was 20th of JAN :)

And how life survives, in loneliness... (like waking up from a fairy tale)
survives, dying everyday... (with an unalterable hope)
With pauses of silence... (trying to fill it inanely)
And at times, even you don't answer my questions (and I keeping talking to myself)

Watching the still water shimmer, (as it reflects the memory)
I am afraid, of losing myself in this wilderness... (when i can't find the dawning)
I wan't to stay, I wan't to wait.. (even if its dashing hopes)
I wan't to wait for you another season.. (and relish the fourth dimension)

On it's time morning shall come, (To be good once again)
and the birds shall fly away, leaving the tress forlorn... (with a zest within)
For a long journey with their kind, chirping happy tunes...(wishing smiles in chain)

Turn back for me if you can (I see you)
Talk to me if you can (I always do)



 List of things you could Trust them Upon - "allegedly"

1. Taste in Music (When I say a song is good and will touch your heart, it will, trust me) - check

2. Knowledge of geographies (I am a map-crazy person, trust me ) - check

3. Business Consulting (It’s more in the name than anything else, trust me) - N A

4. Family (above everything, trust me) - Check

5. Good coincidences (they happen, trust me) - Check

6. Being funny (depends on the kind of person I am with, trust me) - Check

7. Being nice (the world is like a hall full of mirrors, double trust me on this one) - Check

8. A womanizer (Just man who has made wrong decisions, trust me) - Check

9. Being a friend (loosely, very loosely the jingle from 'Friends', “I’ll be there for you”, trust me) - Check

10. Love (ah well… trusted it, for long, but I’m still an optimist, trust me) - Check