No doubt women are a figure of mystery,
enigma or whatever one of those ‘fancy poets’ might call them. But if we talk
about simplicity... it nowhere exists. They have to complicate every possible
thing they do, everything they say, think, eat and even something as simple as
taking a pissy.
Yeah!! A much mystical/controversial
topic of wonder is what… no I mean WHAT exactly women do for hours in rest
rooms???
Why would I question that? Well,
that’s not coming from me! But I will try to answer this much postulated
question by our male counterpart.
Once… I had asked a friend to
wait, till I got back from the ladies room. When I came back, he was an old man
with gray beard. Well, At least his
expression testified it!!
I admit… women and washrooms have
a thing. It’s their place of hoedown throw down.
A man would probably just go to
the loo… and be back in a minute or two and they actually do!
Entirely different story with
women. And literally SIX good months to
come up with this observation. It needed a great deal of research
-analysis. So what if it took me twice
than usual visits to the Ladies’.
Why do they take so long to come
out!
Answer – the mirror!!!
Yes Gentlemen and Gentlemen! It’s
that polished surface that reflects their reality.
Sorry Girls! But that’s the fact.
We are possessed by the mirror.
After having done the pee-poo-pee
… at just about the same bit rate as any average man, they approach the sink.
Washing hands is just a
subconscious act because they were looking at the mirror all the time.
Step2 - Approach Hand drier – eye
contact with the mirror intact!
Step 3 – Now take a comfortable
space in front of the mirror so that the ‘checking out’ process could take place at a grander scale.
She moves it to the left
She moves it to the right
Double time ‘nother time
If she’s looking all fine
Look at it-look at it,
Slow-motion freeze
Stop for the camera...
Paparazzi wanna see! cheeze.
Okay that was one way of
putting it. Also Missy Elliot just happened to rush on my mind. But that
explains it!!
Take my word, if you remove
all the mirrors from the ladies’ rooms, they won’t feel like some sorority
house. Neat :D
Thank God walls can only hear.
But Walls of Washrooms can probably see and they see a LOT!!
Yaar… aap toh bas woi socho. I
am talking about how they diffuse their emotional bomb in there.
Even that didn’t sound right!!
:P
Anyway, the thing is… they
prefer to come in packs to pee. As if their metabolism was simultaneous!!
And that time is consumed in
serious bitching sessions!!
For example- (with my in-head
replies)
“Did u
see her hairdo today? OMG she looks a total retard!” (Like your dead split ends
are any better)
“Hey… that brown-eyed guy from
our next office... He smiled at me!! He’s so cute and talks like a gentleman...
I can totally ask him out!” (Yeah right – Nice vacation from eying your office peon)
*On Phone (shrieking) “No
way!! I knew they were seeing each other... She’s such a biatch! Bataya nai
mujhe”
*Enters “ Arrghh.. I hate
those people who don’t flush!! (Moving to next) Great!!! No toilet paper!!”
(This was Me :P)
It can even get scary at
times.
You come in and then
peacefully are taking bliss piss when suddenly in the adjacent cube -
“BWhahahhahahahahhaa…. He said
so!!!!”
Holy pissing cow… you are this
close to shitting instead.
Well, that was one part. There
are a lot of unheard stories. They can be shrewd, lewd, romantic, dob,
related to job and not to mention SOB. Oh
yeah… History be my witness, Washrooms are
and have been the emotional dumping ground for Ladies.
Day gone bad, fight with boy
friend, stress at work or the most usual… Hari Sadu Boss!!
Cry a river in here ladies!! (And
you thought toilet rolls are only meant for… er well..)
So.. That was it!! Logistically
enough information to explain the time lag.
And hence you got to excuse HER!!
I am sure there could be a lot
more reasons than these. Actually there are… *smirks
But… Let it be a mystery a’ight! Because there’s no way you
would wanna go in there!!
And get your Minds out of the
Ladies Room!
Now, if you’d EXCUSE ME… :P :D
